Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Finding my wings one day at a time..."The Silver Lining"

Have you ever had a day where something scary happens 
and everything just seems to stop. 
Maybe you feel frozen and you wonder...

 "Am I waking up or am I shutting down?"

Without Wings
Click here or on the picture to purchase print. 

This painting was created with one of these transformation days in mind.

      Have you ever had one of those days when something hits you like a brick wall? 
Maybe you feel like it is another wake up call but instead of waking up you feel like you are just freezing up or shutting down. Is it that you are freezing up or is it that you are revealing where you have already been frozen? 
Is the fear coming in or is it surfacing to the top?

These are the questions I have been asking myself the last couple of days.

When I get one of these wake up calls,  I call it a Cosmic 2 by 4, ...I stop everything and listen...really listen.
 I mean one of those let me go deeply into the silence of meditation listening.
 It is different from praying for things to change...it is a deep listening to the small whispers so I can hear what I am not getting consciously. 
When I go into this stillness I connect to my inner child, the little one who is connected to the Divine.
  Some people may call it the soul...or the place where you can hear the Divine connection and intervention. 
In other words, I go into my closet and shut the door.

Even though I listen daily, I may not always consciously realize what I am hearing. 
Sometimes during the busiest times of the day I hear
 little whispers.
 It may be a song playing in my mind for no reason at all.
 Sometimes, I may not even remember hearing it.
 I often wake up hearing a song and I don't even know the words just the phrase playing in my head. 
Sometimes that is all I need to know. 
The message is right there and other times I feel the urge to go look it up and listen to the entire song.
 Clearly and delicately the words speak a powerful message that I needed to hear.
  I laugh and think...how did that happen? But of course I know...and I listen too!!
Sometimes it comes on the wings of a butterfly
 or a tap tap on the window by my little squirrel friend.
 And other times it might be the crows calling my attention to go within or a lizard changing colors
 reminding me to listen to my intuition. 
Still on others days it might just be the sweet little songs of birds chirping for me to let go and play.(Angel whispers)

Sometimes my sweet dog Jewelz is my messenger. 
Sometimes she comes in the middle of the night...shaking, wining and pawing at the bed. 
On one of those nights when I was in a deep sleep, exhausted from a busy day, I woke up startled by a wining Jewlez beside my bed. Needless to say, I was not happy.
 I looked at her with a very frustrated face and said, "seriously, you are waking me up now!" 
I got so mad at her. 
Then I looked at those anxious yet sweet puppy dog eyes,
  as well as her shaking little body and it was as if I could almost hear her telling me, "hey guys there is a lot of emotions not being felt here...time to get moving and feeling again". 
I knew she was the sensitive one for that night. 
She was our earth angel whispering to us to do 
some feeling and healing. 
 I knew this was another wake up call. 
I call her 'my psychic dog' 
because she knows things before they happen.

Anyway as I was saying, I woke up and went to lay down on the den couch beside Jewelz. 
She was shaking and so I decided to shake too. 
(Shaking helps the energy to start moving.) 
Makes sense too, right? 
If you are feeling fear, which makes you feel frozen, then shaking creates movement and the movement allows you to thaw. 
It frees you from the numbing of frozen emotions. 

After shaking and allowing the energy to come up into my body or at least allowing it to surface in my body,  I decided to go into anxiety energy that was surrounding Jewlez.
 I melted into it. 
Oh I will have to say, it was the most intense energy.
 I wanted to scream and run away but I just kept going
 down, down into the energy. 
I could hear Jewelz settling down with each downward step I took. Finally I locked into the deepest part of the fear and I stayed in it.
 I rode the wave.  
I started grounding myself into the energy and as I did it began melting away.  

I felt a stillness, like a calm after a storm.
Then the tears started to flow. 
I mean the whaling kind of tears that leave you
 exhausted yet...lighter. 
I felt all the sadness that I didn't even know was there. 
I knew it wasn't all of my sadness because it was much too much. Just like Jewelz was feeling all of our energies and mirroring what we were all denying so was I feeling all the emotions that everyone was denying.
 I know we are all one and because of this oneness we create a field of energy that contains each one of us. 
So in our family we know when one person is going down...or feeling something then they are feeling it for us all.
 In other-words, don't kill the messenger, right?

Thank you 

Do you have a story to share 
that might encourage others to find their wings?

 I would love to hear it!


  1. This is soooo cool Charlotte. Great insights and a wonderful flow of new ideas!! I will be following you regularly. You have found your calling.

  2. Oh..thank you so much Donna!! Our sisterhood was the greatest blessing!
    You are the dearest friend!

  3. These are such great insights Charlotte and you know I am thrilled that you are sharing your stories and your journey! I've been visiting my shadows as well and it's so inspirational and encouraging to read your words. Thank you! Much love to you!

    1. Thank you so much Cathy. I am just going to live out loud! Thanks for your encouragement!